her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
