If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
