Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
