i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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