Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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