so explain again why im purple
no
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
