Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
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