Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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