butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
