I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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