Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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