At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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