You're my little dorito
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
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You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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