I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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