I wanna passion pit in your ass
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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