What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
