btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
