If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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