come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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