Dual....:-)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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