Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
