So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
