he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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