Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
