I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
