Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
