bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize