So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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