Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
