Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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