I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE