i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear