So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
