Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
