I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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