I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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