i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
