i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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