I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize