The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
