WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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