No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
