So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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