I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
