My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
