1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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