I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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