You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
