Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
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He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
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Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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