You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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