Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
