well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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