Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
