I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
