i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Randomize
