Do you still have your period?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize