This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
