But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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