I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
