ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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