actually, I'm a sock model
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
