He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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