You really coming over, don't trick.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
