just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize