i already hear my dad disowning me
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
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Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
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I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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