1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
